TIPS:
- Use a computer or pen/pencil and paper, whatever is comfortable for you.
- Best time of day to write is when you have some time to reflect afterward and feel what is coming up for you.
- Consider writing at the same time every day.
- Create a unique environment where you write. Ideally somewhere you don’t work. Wherever you write you should have a sense of comfort and security. Consider lighting a candle when you begin writing, or using incense or having some ritual that expresses this is your time. Meditating before or after writing can be helpful. Or taking a long shower or bath afterward.
Write for four consecutive days for 20 minutes.
Day 1. Write about how you felt when the event was occurring and how you feel now. You may tie it to other parts of your life – how is it related to your childhood and your relationships with your parents and close family? How is the event connected to those people you have most loved, feared or been angry with? How is the upheaval related to your current life – your friends and family, your work and your place in life. Above all, how is this event related to who you have been in the past and who you would like to be in the future and who you are now?
Write for 20 minutes
At the end answer the following on a scale of 1-10
0 not at all – 5 somewhat – 10 a great deal
- To what degree did you express your deepest thoughts and feelings?
- To what degree do you currently feel sad or upset?
- To what degree do you currently feel happy?
- To what degree was today’s writing valuable and meaningful for you?
- Briefly describe how your writing went today so may refer to this later.
Remember, these pages are only for you. Put them in a secure place or destroy them. Now take some time for yourself to reflect. Consider a bath, long shower, or a walk.
Day 2. Really examine your very deepest emotions and thoughts. Consider writing about how you may have been responsible for some of the effects of the trauma – not the trauma itself but the later effects it has had on you. Try using the words cause, effect, because, reason, rationale, understand, realize, know and meaning.
Write for 20 minutes
At the end of 20 minutes, answer the following on a scale of 1-10
0 not at all – 5 somewhat – 10 a great deal
- To what degree did you express your deepest thoughts and feelings?
- To what degree do you currently feel sad or upset?
- To what degree do you currently feel happy?
- To what degree was today’s writing valuable and meaningful for you?
- Briefly describe how your writing went today so may refer to this later.
Compare your responses to the day before. – Now take some time for yourself.
Day 3. Day three many people arrive a critical issues they have been avoiding. Some people run out of steam. Try changes perspectives.
If you are writing about the same trauma, shift to some other feature of the same trauma. Don’t repeat what you have already written. Explore different perspectives and write for 20 minutes or write about a new trauma.
Write for 20 minutes
At the end of 20 minutes, answer the following on a scale of 1-10
0 not at all – 5 somewhat – 10 a great deal
- To what degree did you express your deepest thoughts and feelings?
- To what degree do you currently feel sad or upset?
- To what degree do you currently feel happy?
- To what degree was today’s writing valuable and meaningful for you?
- Briefly describe how your writing went today so may refer to this later.
Do something to pamper yourself.
Day 4: Stand back and think about the events, issues, thoughts and feelings you have disclosed. In your writing, try to tie up anything that you haven’t yet confronted. What are your emotions and thoughts at this point. What have you learned, lost and gained as a result of this upheaval in your life? Try to wrap up the experience into a meaningful story. What is the end of this story that you can carry with you into the future.
Remember, this day can be the least enjoyable. Most people find they are tired with dealing with this trauma and want to get on with other parts of your life.
If you kept your writing, you may be tempted to go back and read through it. We recommend you take at least 2-3 days off from writing before revisiting it.
Write for 20 minutes
At the end of 20 minutes, answer the following on a scale of 1-10
0 not at all – 5 somewhat – 10 a great deal
- To what degree did you express your deepest thoughts and feelings?
- To what degree do you currently feel sad or upset?
- To what degree do you currently feel happy?
- To what degree was today’s writing valuable and meaningful for you?
- Briefly describe how your writing went today so may refer to this later.
Do something nice for yourself.
Measuring Change
How have you been feeling and behaving in the last day or two with the days before you began writing.
- Have you found you feel more positive emotions –find it easier to laugh?
- Take less time to fall asleep – better sleep in general?
- Felling healthier – fewer aches and pains?
- Eating more healthily?
- Think about the trauma less often and when you do think about it, the thoughts are less painful?
- Feeling less irritable, having fewer disagreements or fights with others?
- Experiencing more honest and open relationships with others?
- Noticing a greater sense of meaning in your life?
- A better understanding of the emotional upheaval you have written about?
Look at the questionnaires and the numbers. If you numbers were consistently 5 or lower, rethink how you were approaching the writing exercise. This may not be the best method for you.